Seasons Change

I see seasons changed by the winds blow,

Your heart have shaken in the rhythms flow.

The sweetest scents of  the spring flowers,

The heat of the summer passion.

Now the falling leaves in autumn wind,

Waiting to be covered in white winter snow.

Never Gonna Leave This Bed

"Never Gonna Leave This Bed"

You push me, I don't have the strength to

Resist or control you

Take me down, take me down

You hurt me

But do I deserve this?

You make me so nervous

Calm me down, calm me down

Wake you up

In the middle of the night to say

I will never walk away again

I'm never gonna leave this bed, oh

So come here

And never leave this place

Perfection of your face

Slows me down, slows me down

So fall down

I need you to trust me

Go easy, don't rush me

Help me out, why don't you help me out?

Wake you up

In the middle of the night to say

I will never walk away again

I'm never gonna leave this bed, oh

So you say "Go, it isn't working"

And I say "No, it isn't perfect"

So I stay instead

I'm never gonna leave this bed

Take it, take it all

Take all that I have

I'd give it all away just to get you back
And fake it, fake it all

Take what I can get
Knockin' so loud

Can you hear me yet

Try to stay awake but you can't forget

Wake you up

In the middle of the night to say

I will never walk away again

I'm never gonna leave this bed, oh

You say "Go, it isn't working"

And I say "No, it isn't perfect"

So I stay instead

I'm never gonna leave this bed, ooh

Take it, take it all

Take all that I have

Take it, take it all

Take all that I have

Take it, take it all

Take all that I have

Take it, take it all

Take all that I have

Take it, take it all

Take all that I have

Take it, take it all

Take all that I have

Take it, take it all

Take all that I have 

Blank??

最近心情有点不爽。。。
宝贝她很不想和我说话。。。
我又惹到她生气了吗？还是她厌倦了我？
每当我要跟她说话的时候都时常被不管。。。
或者她都用很阴沉的话语来回我。。。
但同一时间内却看到她和别人讲的有说有笑的，非常开朗。。。


我觉得好尴尬。。。
我有点心酸。。。
我妒忌了。。。
我喜欢这种感觉吗？
不，我一点都不喜欢去妒忌别人， 这种感觉让我觉得很没用。


我不是不喜欢她跟别人有说有笑的，
我只不过希望她也能那样来对待我罢了。。。
为什么我和别人得到的对待会相差那么远呢？
这种分别让我觉得很不被需要，觉得我只不过是在烦着她。。。


我们曾经也有过那些快乐的时光，
当对方的出现会让彼此开朗，
非常的温暖和幸福。。。


那段时光去了哪儿？
难到她忘了吗？

New Semester = Stress?

Okay, let's do an update and summary about my current life haha...

The 3rd semester started, and this is the 4th week(if i'm not mistaken) of the sem...
All the goods in holiday will have to come to a stop,
no more hanging out everynite,
no more movies every week,
no more chit-chat till late night,
no more staying up whole night,
and the list goes on...

life is getting more and more busy with all the works and projects piling up like mountain...
Stress is building up when faced with subjects that i don't have a damn idea what it's actually about and can't even relate it to my course.... and working with people who still need more knowledge on certain something can be seriously stressful.

Everybody is just too busy with their own works, as for me and her, we just don't have much time for each other like we used to have during the holiday... And she had not been giving me much of her attention lately, too busy with her works i guess, situation can be a little awkward sometimes. But honestly, i just miss those time i spent with her, those time are gold... hope the two us can have more time together, i want to make every moment with her worth... i have given a lot to bring us closer together. i hope that life just won't take her away again, i don't want her to drift away again, not this time. I still have a goal to achieve, a dream to catch, a future i hope to live.

Desperate for her attention but i just couldn't bring myself to ask more of her time. She has her own life to go through, she can't possibly do everything in my favor, and i want her to have her own space, to focus in what she's doing... if i cannot help her, that's the least i can do for her...tension is building up though huhuhu... but well, i'd rather wait patiently and eat up the pain than doing anything disrespect to her. For now, I'll just be praying to God in hope He'll do what's best for us :)

Need more motivation to focus in my study, need to pull up my pointer, for a better future maybe?

Time ~ Forever

The beginning that I could not remember,

The stop that I know is never.

How I wish the time can stop here,

Let this moment with you last till forever.

By my love I promise to be better,

So that by your side I'll be the best ever.

Written by,

Words Unsaid

So many things I wanted said, yet unsaid.

The weight of things that remained unspoken, built up so much it crushed us every day. So scared of breaking it, but she won't let it bend. And I wrote two hundred letters I will never send. Sometimes these cuts are so much deeper than they seem. She'd rather cover up, I'd rather let them bleed. She pushes me, I don't have the strength to resist or control her. Take me down, take me down. I wonder if it even makes a difference, it even makes a difference to try and she told me how she’s feeling. She told me actions speaks louder, but there's something about her words that hurt.

She hurt me, but do I deserve this? She makes me think of someone wonderful but I can't place her. She makes me so nervous, calm me down, calm me down. I need her to trust me, go easy, don't rush me. Help me out, why doesn’t she help me out? I'm never gonna leave this bed. The room was silent as we all tried so hard to remember; the way it feels to be alive the day that I first met her. Something's gotta change, things cannot stay the same.

Never asked her to change but sadly she doesn't feel the same about me. She say "Go, it isn't working" and I say "No, it isn't perfect”. So I stay instead. Not that I didn't care; it's that I didn't know. It’s not what I didn't feel; it's what I didn't show. I wake up every morning wishing one more time to face her. I wonder does her man still shudder when she touches his hand like this man. I am in misery; there ain't nobody who can comfort me.

Why won't she answer me? The silence is slowly killing me. Why does this happened to me? Why does every moment have to be so hard? Hard to believe it. Girl you really got me bad, you really got me bad. This love has taken its toll on me. She said goodbye too many times before and my heart is breaking in front of me. Please don't try so hard to say goodbye, I'm out of goodbyes; because I know that goodbye means nothing at all. Something's gotta change, it must be rearranged.

I drove for miles and miles and wound up at her door. I've had her so many times but somehow I want more. Just give me one more chance to make it right, of all things I felt but never really shown. I don't mind spending every day out on her corner in the pouring rain. Look for the girl with the broken smile ask her if she wants to stay awhile and she will be loved. My heart is full and my door's always open, she can come anytime she wants. 

So let me be and she will be loved.

Lyrics Mashed up and Modified by,

Extracted From "This Love", "She Will Be Loved", "I  Won't Go Home Without You", "Goodnight Goodnight",  "Misery", "Never Gonna Leave This Bed" and "Out of Goodbyes", All original by Maroon 5.

I'm just too tired

There ain't gonna be anything fancy for this post, no song, no rhymes, no poem, no lyrics, i'm just too tired for everything and anything...

I'm just too tired to think,
too tired to tell,
too tired to keep up,
too tired to fall,
too tired to stand up,
too tired to try,
too tired to be strong,
too tired to hope,
too tired to wish,
too tired to see what's not,
too tired to see what's possible,
too tired to brood over the same words,
too tired to lie,
too tired to smile,
too tired to laugh at myself,
too tired to fake,
too tired to love,
too tired to hate,
too tired to be depressed,
too tired to worry,
too tired to give up,
too tired to be broken,
too tired to listen,
too tired to talk,
too tired to bear the silence,
too tired to get all happy,
too tired to get all sad,
too tired for the world,
too tired for the changes,
too tired for the ups and down,
too tired for the hot and cold,
too tired for my inner chaos,
too tired for anymore confusions,
too tired for the uncertainties,
too tired for truth,
too tired for the dramas,
too tired for fate,
too tired for the past,
too tired for questions,
too tired for answers,
too tired for myself...

If only things never started,
if only I went away to other places,
if only I never saw,
if only I never tried,
if only I'm not a fool,
if only I can be little more understanding,
if only I can make life simpler...

I wonder life would be better for the present haha sigh*~~

I Will Be Right Here Waiting For You - Richard Marx

A very old song with simple lyrics but deep emotions :)

Ocean apart day after day

And I slowly go insane

I hear your voice in the line

But it doesn't stop the pain

If I see you next to never

How can we say forever

Wherever you go

Whatever you do

I will be right here waiting for you

Whatever it takes

Or how my heart breaks

I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times

That I thought would last somehow

I hear the laughter, I taste the tears

But I can't get near you now

Oh, can't you see it baby

You've got me goin' crazy

Wherever you go

Whatever you do

I will be right here waiting for you

Whatever it takes

Or how my heart breaks

I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive

This romance

But in the end if I'm with you

I'll take the chance

Oh, can't you see it baby

You've got me goin' crazy

Wherever you go

Whatever you do

I will be right here waiting for you

Whatever it takes

Or how my heart breaks

I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how you're supposed to give up...

I wonder how you're supposed to give up...
Do I just decide and act accordingly?...
And move further and further from what my heart really wants?
Then will I forget everything?...
Everything, including the pain in my heart?
Without a trace...as if nothing was there to begin with...

~Yamada Ayumi (Honey and Clover)~

Breaking Dream

Driving under the rainy dawn,

To a distance I cannot see.

Without a reason or destination,

I stepped hard on the pedal,

In places I'm unfamiliar with.

Rewinding the songs that described me,

The past images came into mind.

How did it all begin?

I couldn't seem to remember,

The nearing end is all I see.

Laughing at my own foolishness,

Tears flowed out from the heavy eye lids.

My heart pain with every beat,

Over the sound of a breaking dream.

Lost in my confusion,

The void sucked me in.

Smoke blurring my view in front,

Of cigarettes that burn away slow,

Like the time that I had paid.

Just how long has it been?

The moment from when I started to love.

Hope was my best escape,

Told myself a lie that

Things will change due time.

Running towards the light I created,

I wished that my choice was right.

Laughing at my own foolishness,

Tears flowed out from the heavy eye lids.

My heart pain with every beat,

Over the sound of a breaking dream.

Lost in my confusion,

The void sucked me in.

Voices of friends that tried

To pull me out of my mess,

Resounding along with the swinging wipers.

What if I had just listened?

Things would have been different rite?

Laughing at my own foolishness,

Tears flowed out from the heavy eye lids.

My heart pain with every beat,

Over the sound of a breaking dream.

Lost in my confusion,

The void sucked me in.
 

My heart pain with every beat,

Over the sound of a breaking dream.

Lost in my confusion,

The void sucked me in.

Split - Suneohair

It would have been easier
If these dull emotions could just
Disappear sooner without a word

When I gazed at you

I saw myself trembling in your eyes

My lips parted as though I had a blank expression

We went on our separate paths

At that crossroad

It pains me so much that

We may never meet again

Despite adding emotions which are lacking

Things that were warmed just a while ago have grown cold

I couldn’t believe something like that

Just how long am I going to hold on to the same words

How long am I going to hold on…

When I continue to gaze at you

The seasons changed in your eyes

My new light which I’ve not known before

We will walk our separate paths

Now, at that crossroad

I can never look back again

My feelings are too overwhelming

You embrace me in the night that is about to disappear

Entangling me with your body which has grown cold

I feel that something is lacking

Just how long have I been holding on to

Lies and sighs to the point of falling apart

Despite adding emotions which are lacking

Things that were warmed just a while ago have grown cold

I couldn’t believe something like this

Just how long am I going to hold on to the same words

How long am I going to hold on...

心情

不方便用英文来写，所以我将以下的一切都以华文记载下来。

望着遥远的日落慢慢的沉下地平线，在外面与她度过的时间也接近了终点。

看着那我已爱慕已久的容颜，我终于忍不下我的心情了。

提起了一切勇气，我狡猾的骗了她。

就当她放下防卫与不察觉的迅间，我抓起了她的手。

吓坏的她敏捷的拉回了手。

一边离开的时候，她小声的告诉了我关于她不喜欢我在大众表示我对她的感情。

进入了车后，我再次的提起勇气，问了她“哪怕在这里面应该可以吧？”

没想到她竟然真的向我伸出了她得右手。

看着面前的机会，我毫不犹豫的握了她的手。

但因着付钱占，交通灯以及不方便换驾驶，我没办法也只好毫不愿意的放开了手。

选择了一条没交通灯的高速公路，我又再次的握了她的手。

把速度减慢，一路小心地与那幼小的手十指紧扣，怕抓的太紧的话她会痛。

这些年来的梦想，终于成真了。

心里真的，真的非常开心。

但那条我希望没有终点的路也终于来到我必须停的一点。

看着那红红的灯，我也而再次地放开了手。

把她落在家门，当她下车的时候，对她说了一声“爱妳”

看着她慢慢的走进家里，我也慢慢的驾驶离开。

一路离开的时候，眼泪忍不住地掉了出来。

心碎了，真的很希望于她牵着手的那段时光是永远。

应该开心的我至到现在都还感觉的非常伤心。。。

脑中一至想着一些我忘了没说的话。。。

想着如果我选择了一条更长的路线。。。

想着如果我能牵着她的手更久一点。。。

非常的遗憾。。。

真的很希望她能够知道我心里的一切

End

Looking back to those empty fights,

Was there a mind for a reason right?

Lost into the haste of intolerance,

Words seeped out not the mind conscience.

A simple over set down the ending,

Now hearts left to let go everything.

Choices were there for a choose,

Chosen the one with not a lose.

Wishes over the word unsaid,

Regrets flows over the tears cried.

A step too late to back,

Cause for the all the cracks.

Giving change seems too hard,

Sadness echoes in the bleeding heart.

Fades slowly back into white,

Silence fell over the night.

A New Day

Glaring over the peach coloured clouds,

Floating across the blue morning sky,

Brightened warm by the gold rising sun.

Away the dark without silver gleaming stars,

The cold and black solemn night,

Where hung the yellow lonely moon.

A new day has come,

The night is just a memory.

A new start to begin,

Paint it with smiles and hope.

The Promise ~ Sunleth Waterscape

Step into the rainbow, find another view.
Chase the tender light, borders let's cross over.

Ready to define the mists inside your heart?

Take a breath and start your life.

Waves of a new day,

Clear all the gloom away,

Hope is what we simply need to proceed.

Step into the rainbow, world you never knew.
Chase the heights of light, soar beyond your sorrows.

Dance among the colors, let them be your dreams.

Close your eyes and see anew.

Dawn of the new day.

Clears all the gloom away.

This is the hope that we need to go on.

Taken from Final Fantasy XIII and recomposed by,

累了

感觉有点累了。。。不，是真的很累了。。。
对于接受事实，感觉真的很累了。。。

爱你真的爱得什么都无所谓。
宁愿舍弃一切的时间，就只为你一个罢了。
可是，换来的也只不过是我个人的失望。
心痛了。。。

要面对这所谓的事实，
要勇往直前，
要学会放弃，
都试过。
失败了。。。

这个你给我的事实，
我不是不明白，
我不是不接受。
明白了，接受了，那又怎么样，对你的感觉还是如此没变。。。
可能就是无法离开吧。。。
也可能认定你就是唯一。。。

有时候，
看到镜子里的自己，真的会笑了出来。。。
看着自己跌了，伤了又再次地含着笑容站起来，那都无数次了。。。
宁愿忍着心中有如刀割的痛，都永不放弃的那个精神
真的很可笑。。。
但自己就还像个傻瓜一样，一直在等待，希望有一天可以看到不同的结果，一个盼望已久的结果。。。

从那个忘了是怎么开始对你有一点喜欢你的感觉慢慢的变成对你的爱都有几年了。。。

我累了。。。

但我想那也不可能改变掉这个固执吧，
就是无法放弃你，哈哈。。。:D

Canvas

Let not only yourself to paint the canvas of life.

Let those who came across to take up the brushes and paint along too. 

Before you know,

this canvas will be the best masterpiece you'll ever see.

You're Happy :)

Happy,

when you hold the hand of your love so tightly.

Happy,

when you saw him smiled back to your clueless face.
Happy,

when his is heart are beating fast when you're around.

Happy,

when your heart are beating for him too.

Happy,

when he told you that u shine brighter than all the stars.

Happy,

when he told you how wonderful is his world with you.

Happy,

when you listened to everything he said to you.

Happy,

when he promised the future with you.

Happy,

when you put your heart and believe.

Happy,

when he said yes when you asked .

Happy,

because he'll never say no to you.

Happy,

because you love him.

Happy,

because he loves you back.

Happy,

because you're happy even though I'm not the reason behind your smile.

Cure

My love is pure,
My decision is sure.

Time with you is my pleasure,

Every minute is a treasure.

Without you I'm insecure,

Thinking of you I immure.

Pain to my constrains I'll endure,

Wish that you could be my cure.

The Train That Never Comes

Down the town I walked,

To a station too far from talk.

Now I sat on a wooden bench,

Waiting for the train to fetch.

Time to time men crossed my sight,

Wondering if the man is alright.

Some walked away smiling at the fool,

Some sat down and asked for my cool.

Some tried to pull me away,

Saying that for me the train will never stay.

Some told me about another train,

asked if I would still wanted to remain.

And yet I told them,

I can see the train in view.

Far across the grassy land,

The train that never comes.

And here I will wait,

For it the bring me to a land far into dream.